


Chapped Lips and Fading Days

by gayplums



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Based on a Twenty One Pilots Song, Cancer, Cancer - Twenty One Pilots, Dan dies, Dan has cancer, Heavy Angst, Hospitalization, M/M, One Shot, Phil is sad, Suicidal Thoughts (mentioned)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 22:42:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17353982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayplums/pseuds/gayplums
Summary: i wrote this two years ago while listening to Cancer by MCR and the TOP cover on repeat lmaoDan gets cancer, Phil is sad.TW// death, cancer, poorly written cancer, suicidal thoughts (only mentioned tho)





	Chapped Lips and Fading Days

**Author's Note:**

> okay so, i wrote this two years ago, and decided to edit it a few days ago, of which this past week has been the worst week of my life. these past few years i have had no good sleep, no matter how many or few hours i get.
> 
> i have no idea how cancer works btw

"Turn away

If you could get me a drink

Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded"

 

The hospital room walls are a faded light yellow, the ceiling boring tile and lights practically blinding, the only window Dan saw was outside his room. The smell of the room smelt bitter and reminded him of toothpaste and medicine, the smell so pungent he could practically taste it. He lay on his bed, throat dry and lips chapped, his chest heavy, has been for what felt like months. He watches as Phil leaves the room, tears rolling down his pale face. Dan moves his lips in a silent call for Phil, lips quivering and throat shaky yet feels like he's got stones shoved down there.

 

"Call my aunt Marie

Help her gather all my things

And bury me in all my favorite colors"

 

Phil closes the door, and Dan faintly hears as Phil calls his parents, informing them of how Dan has gotten worse. Dan stares up at the blank ceiling, his eyes wincing as he hears him burst into sobs. Dan's hands hands ball into fists, and he moves his hands over his chest, clutching them. A choked sob forces its way up his chest, shakes his throat and comes out strangled and dry, the sob racking his body. He thinks to the time when Dan was first admitted to the hospital, how Phil's face was a constant red, and tears seemingly never ending. That day had to be the worst one of his life, how miserable he was, 'gloomy' barely even covered how Phil looked.

 

"My sisters and my brothers, still, I will not kiss you

'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you"

 

Phil walked into Dan's hospital room, the nurse following, telling them how Dan has a low mortality rate, Phil's sobs get worse, chest heaving and shoulders hunching, hand coming up to cover his mouth. The nurse leaves. Dan sits up, he beckons Phil closer, Phil obliges, but as Dan goes to hug the distraught man, Phil dodges it. Dan's heart breaks a little. Dan looks at Phil with sad eyes, eyes watery as he stares at him. Phil swallows, and looks down, coughing as tears flow from his eyes. Dan remembers to when those eyes were joyful, and crinkled when he laughed. It physically hurts him when he realizes how far away the last memory of a genuinely happy, laughing Phil feel.

 

"I will not kiss you 

Lips are chapped and faded"

 

Dan hugs Phil, and his cracked lips peck Phil's pale neck, Phil sobs more, knowing one day, he will never feel those lips on his skin again. One day. He tightened his hug, before pulling away, scared to hurt the already weakened man. He stared into Dan's eyes, slowly losing life day by day. As he stares at him, he notices bald spots, how his skin looks grey, his brown eyes once chocolate now look like cedar. Dan looks like a dying man, and it hurts Phil to know he actually is dying. One day.

 

"Call my (turn away)

Lips are chapped and faded (faded)

Kiss you (kiss you)

Lips are chapped and faded"

 

Phil walks into Dan's hospital room, looking at Dan's sleeping form. His eyes move to Dan's lips, cracked and losing color. Sadness fills his eyes, tears welling up. He sniffed, he's cried more in the past few months than he was when he was a baby. He walks over to him, ivory hand rubbing over Dan's paling ones. In the harsh lighting of the hospital room, Dan's skin color near rivaled his.

 

"Call my (turn away)

Lips are chapped and faded (faded)"

 

Dan wakes up, his lips curving up in a small smile, "Hey, Phil" Dan says in a groggy voice, Phil smiles a little, "Hi Dan," Dan moves his hand a little, Phil takes Dan's cold hand in his warm one. Dan stares into Phil's melancholy filled blue eyes, Phil moves closer, kissing Dan's forehead. Dan's smile widens, though weak. He holds Phil's hand, relishing in the warmth. He blames his cold hands on the A/C.

 

"Turn away

'Cause I'm awful just to see

And all my hairs abandoned all my body

All my agony

Know that I will never marry"

 

Phil walks into Dan's hospital room, glancing at Dan's balding head. It's getting worse. He puts his tray of food from McDonald's on the side table, "Hey Dan" He greets, Dan opens his sleepy eyes, "Hi, Phil" He smiles, the same smile Phil fell in love with. Phil smiles through the pain. Dan's voice was worsening, they didn't talk to each other much, and Phil blames the rasp on that.

 

"Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo

I'm counting down the days to go

This just ain't livin'

And I just hope you know"

 

Phil cries. He is sat on his bed, legs wrapped around his arms. He sobs. Dan knows he doesn't have much time left, practically counting down the days. His bitten nails scratch his legs through his sweatpants, have been for what feels like hours. He wouldn't be surprised if it has been hours. He chokes and chokes, throat heavy, everything heavy, he feels everything and nothing and it's overwhelming but that doesn't matter. He is losing Dan, losing faith, losing emotion only to be left with pain and sorrow and it feels like that is all he knows. Emotional pain turning into depression turning into suicidal thoughts. He can't lose Dan. Can't.

 

"I will not kiss you 

Lips are chapped and faded

Call my (turn away)

Lips are chapped and faded, faded"

 

Dan lays on his bed, staring at his ceiling, tears rolling down his face, throat dry and lips chapped. He licks his lips, has done so countless times and only succeeded in making the cracks worse. He shuts his eyes and sobs, heart heavy and crying for Phil. He misses him, though they see each other almost daily, he only has days left, he can feel it, and he just wants to see him one last time, always wanted his last moments to be beside him.

 

"Kiss you (kiss you)

Lips are chapped and faded

Call my (turn away)

Lips are chapped and faded, faded, you say (if you say)

Goodbye today (goodbye today)

 

Dan stares at the ceiling, the same ceiling he has been looking at for months now. He turns his head to the side, he feels tired.

 

I'll ask you to be true (I'll ask you to be true)

'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you

Yes, the hardest part of this"

 

Phil walks into Dan's hospital room, holding flowers, "Hey Dan," He says, "I brought flowers" He stares at Dan waiting for him to wake up like he usually does, he shakes his arm a little, not wanting to be too rough, "Dan?"

 

"I will not kiss you (kiss you)

Lips are chapped and faded

Call my (call my)"

 

He screams for a nurse.

 

"Lips are chapped and faded (faded)

Kiss you (kiss you)

Lips are chapped and faded

Call my (call my)

Lips are chapped and faded (faded)"

 

"Hey Dan," He says, placing the flowers on Dan's grave,

 

"I brought flowers"

**Author's Note:**

> lmao hoped you liked it, have a good day, please give this some kudos and some constructive criticism.


End file.
